The Fog

I have felt from time to time that I am in a fog for one reason or another.

Some of it is due to my Dissociate Identity Disorder. Of course people who dissociate will feel like they are walking around in a fog.

Other times, I think it's because of medications I have been on. Pain medications have really made me feel out of it at times. For the last 7 months, I have been on and off various pain medications, all having their different side effects. Some of those side effects left me in a fog.

Now, I am understanding after doing some research that I am suffering from Fibro fog at times. Fibro fog is what those with Fibromyalgia use to describe how their Fibromyalgia affects their cognitive functioning. I can really relate.

To me, being a fog means going through my day and going through the motions without really being able to process it correctly. I'm tired and cannot focus. I can't always fully pay attention to what I am doing. I forget what I am doing or saying right in the middle of doing or saying it. I have terrible short term memory. I can't remember who I have told what to, so I repeat myself a lot. I also can't remember simple directions. I need people to tell me again and again. I have trouble comprehending stuff that I read. I have to read it, re-read it, and then re-read it again.  The fog I am living in is so frustrating.

Even blogging or writing in my personal journal is difficult. Sometimes I forgot how to spell words that I have known how to spell since grade school, and it takes me countless frustrating minutes to get the word spelled correctly, even with the help of spell check and a dictionary.

I have alarms set to remember to take all my medications and vitamins. I had gastric bypass surgery in August 2010, so I have a strict vitamin regiment. I can't remember to take my medications unless I'm in pain, so I have many alarms that go off each day to tell me which medications or vitamins to take and which containers they are in.