Pain and Fear

Yesterday turned out to be a good and bad day. I was feeling well in the morning and decided that I would work on driving. So I drove the thirty mile trip to my therapy appointment. I am still learning to drive, so it was stressful. During the drive, the stress was getting to me and body was really tense, so I ended up being in lots of pain. I am still proud of myself for driving that far.

After therapy, my dad drove home. Then I tried to rest and get out of some pain, but that didn't happen.

I went to physical therapy where they tried so much to help me feel better. But it just wasn't happening. My pain was just too much. I ended up crying and had to go to the bathroom to cry and try to hide it. I think they knew though. Ugh.

I'm so miserable sometimes. I just want to be able to lead a normal life. I haven't worked in months and am really struggling financially. And I'm bored. I liked working. It was fun. I worked as a nanny. I love kids and being around them.

I worry that my dreams won't come true. My biggest dream ever, is to be a wife and mother. I hope that that will happen, but I fear that it won't. I will try so hard to make it happen. I want it so badly. I want a family to love and nurture.